I called off a five-month engagement and four-year relationship one month before getting married. Now, three years later, I am about to marry the love of my life. The feelings between the two relationships couldn’t be more opposite.
Some doubts are normal to have in a relationship. But when he’s really right for you, there are certain things you should never doubt. Think twice if you have these concerns.
#1. His devotion to you. Has he ever given you a reason to doubt that you’re his one and only? If there is one thing you should be confident about, it’s that he’s 100 percent committed to you!
If you are not a priority to him right now, you never will be. Make sure he puts you before his work, family, friends and hobbies.
#2. Your devotion to him. This sounds obvious, but take a minute to really consider it. Are you ready to give up all attention from every other man to be with him? If not, do yourself both a favor and walk away. He deserves to be with someone completely devoted to him, and you deserve to be crazy about the man you love!
#3. He makes life better. Your man should inspire you to be a better human. Don’t tie yourself to someone who doesn’t make you better. Eventually you’ll hate yourself and resent him.
#4. His kindness towards those closest to him. If he adores you but is rude to everyone else, beware! He doesn’t have to love everyone, but pay attention to how he treats his closest friends and family – especially his mom. This is a large predictor to how he will eventually treat you. If he is snarky and disrespectful, ask yourself if you’d be willing to put up with him treating you that way, year after year.
#5. His life ambition. Many couples have different hobbies, but the happiest marriages have similar life ambitions. Make sure yours match up.
If you want to run for governor in 10 years, find someone who is equally ambitious and help you accomplish your dreams. If you dream of being a stay-at-home mom, make sure you’re with someone who supports your choice and will do the work necessary to make it possible.
Marriage won’t magically change your man. If you’re not on the same ambition train now, you likely never will be. Marry him for who he is – not who you think you can change him to be.
#6. You’re marrying up. The best marriages are a win-win for both spouses. You should feel like you are the luckiest woman in the world to be marrying him, and he should feel the same way about you.
#7. Your excitement about marrying him. You’re about to spend a lifetime with this person, and if that idea doesn’t excite you … you should probably walk away.
#8. Your gut feeling. Overall, this is the most important. I once was told, “In the very best scenario, you marry a complete stranger.” You know so little about this person compared to what you will know after 30 years of marriage, so trust you gut. I believe God guides each person, but if you don’t believe in God, trust your instincts. It can save you from a world of hurt.
Not all doubts are bad, and while you shouldn’t end a relationship just because you have some uncertainties, beware of those mentioned above.
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