A successful romance can be quite formulaic, for there are certain elements of dating that guys should never overlook. And with all the women out there who complain that their boyfriends are not satisfying them one way or another, one has to wonder: Do guys really know how to be good boyfriends or is it just impossible to satisfy women?
With that, here are 10 positive traits of attached men. And if you possess just about all of the following, then perhaps the problems in the relationship don’t lie with you alone.
#10. You Listen: When words come out of her mouth, do you actually pay attention to what is being said, or does your brain just process mumbling sounds while you stare at her chest? A good boyfriend is an active listener, meaning he asks questions and doesn’t just sit there, waiting for his turn to speak.
Showing her that you have a genuine interest in what she has to say means, among other things, that you respect her opinions and find her interesting; two things that will meet any woman’s criteria.
#9. You Don’t Bore Her. A great relationship is one that never feels stale. So to avoid having your flames of desire burn out, you have to be unpredictable and mysterious in order to keep her guessing (and on her toes).
Whether you whisk her away to a Mexican resort at the last minute or show up, for no apparent reason, with Chinese takeout, wine and a pair of handcuffs, spontaneity can add some real excitement to the romance, and will intrigue her all the more. Women love to be swept away in as many different ways as possible; it’s up to you to come up with as many ideas as you can.
#8. You Can (And Do) Please Her In Bεd. Saying that sεx is important would be a gross understatement. A good boyfriend must satisfy his woman’s romantic needs (and yes, she should reciprocate). There’s a difference between making love just for the sake of it, and being passionate about it. That means never skipping forεplay, sending her soothing messages during the act (Note: it’s OK to ask her, point-blank, what she likes), and not falling asleep the minute you’re done.
#7. You Aren’t Passive. She may feel more empowered by it in the beginning, but in the long run, no woman wants a passive, submissive man who completely compromises his personality to make her happy. Retain your personality, stand by your opinions, and don’t give in too easily. Show her that you are strong, confident, and have a spine.
#6. You Notice The Details. Did she suddenly get highlights in her hair, shed a few pounds or buy a new dress? These are all things you should take note of; women will appreciate your keen eyes, since they show that you are attentive and don’t skim over life’s more subtle details — including things that she cares about.
#5. You Give Her Space. Trust is the foundation of any good relationship. Part of that entails giving her the freedom to have a life separate from yours without asking 20 questions or having jealous fits, and knowing that she’s not taking your trust for granted. Keep things in perspective; would you like a girlfriend who kept tabs on every move you made? Probably not, and the same goes for her. And always look for a silver lining; in this case, you’ll have time to hang out with your buddies, and have something to talk to her about the next time you see her.
#4. You Respect Her (And Her Family) It’s important to avoid letting your ego get the best of you, so if your mentality is stuck in the ’50s, you must adjust to changing times. You have to understand that she’s an equal part of the relationship, so appreciate her company. Likewise, try to embrace her family early on. In addition to scoring precious points, being kind and courteous toward her parents is a good way to show that you’re serious about the relationship. This includes, but is not limited to, bringing the parents thoughtful little gifts every so often, and planning activities that include her whole family, like a picnic. Of course, I’m assuming that you’ve already survived that dreaded first meeting.
#3. You Better Yourself. Demonstrating what a positive effect your woman has had on you is a fantastic way of gaining leverage. Whether you’re getting yourself back into shape, improving your vocabulary or forgetting about the television long enough to take dance lessons with her, it doesn’t matter. Improving yourself is a great way of letting her know she deserves the best, and she’ll be flattered that she was the inspiration behind your desire to aim higher.
#2. You Challenge Her To Be Better. Likewise, your role in her life should be just as beneficial. You should inspire her to make changes that reflect the positive effect you’ve had on her. If, for example, you see her letting a great talent go to waste, encourage her; maybe that’s all she needs. Don’t be afraid to get her to sign up for an art class or push her to pursue a career you know she’d be good at. The fact that you care that much about her well-being will make her want to keep you around longer.
#1. You Make Her Feel Beautiful. Reminding her how beautiful she is comes with making her feel good, and makes you a poster boyfriend. Best of all: Simplicity and honesty are all you need. Buy her, say, a card that expresses your appreciation, compliment her at odd times, and if you feel that she’s the most gorgeous creature you’ve ever laid eyes on, be sure to let her know. Women want to look good for their men, and proving to her that you only have eyes for her will be a validation of that.
What it all boils down to is making her feel good about herself and appreciating her in an unselfish way; find success in this department, and she will love you eternally. That being said, if I’ve just finished describing you and she still takes issue with the little things, then maybe it’s time for you to reevaluate how good a partner she really is.
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