Do you ever get this feeling in your gut that things just aren’t right? We all get that feeling. Sometimes it’s a result of evidence we’ve compiled, and sometimes we can’t determine the root. Either way, the feeling is there, and it’s strong.
Life has taught me that ignoring that feeling in my gut will get me in trouble time and time again. I try my best to ‘listen’ when something doesn’t feel quite right in any area of my life.
So many of us pay attention to that gut feeling when it comes to our kids and our businesses, but when it comes to our marriages and relationships, we choose to ignore the feeling for far too long.
Why is that? Why do we decide to just “wait and see” when it comes to our mates, especially when it’s someone we’ve chosen to spend the rest of our lives with?
I don’t know the answer. I suspect our reason for pause has something to do with denial and preservation. We are in denial that our marriages are in trouble, and we want to preserve all of the good memories we have. I get it. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Ignoring your gut is never the right thing to do.
So what are some signs that may be giving you that gut feeling, indicating that there’s a growing problem in your marriage? Here are a few.
Your spouse is pulling away. Distance between partners is typically a sign that something is up. It could be as serious as infidelity or as simple as your spouse being under a lot of stress at work. But when you feel like your spouse is pulling away from you, it shouldn’t be ignored. It’s a sign that something is wrong. You have to make and effort to figure out what that something is.
You’ve caught your spouse in a petty lie. Of course, catching your spouse in a major lie is an obvious sign that you have a problem on your hands, but what about those petty lies that leave you feeling like why would he (or she) lie about that?
Don’t ignore those lies. Small lies can be a sign of a bigger issue, and you should definitely pay closer attention to your relationship so you can figure out what’s going on. Find out why your spouse felt compelled to mislead you; the truth could point to an even bigger secret (i.e. a job loss, an illness, money issues, an affair, etc.)
There’s a significant change in the bedroom. Married couples go through ups and downs in the bedroom, but a sudden change in sexual behavior without any explanation can definitely leave you wondering. Whether it’s an increase in activity or a sudden decrease, try to get to the bottom of why things have changed without any prior conversation or warning.
Communication is now an issue. Communication issues are very common in most relationships. But if the communication issues are new, it may be a sign that there’s a problem.
If you’ve never had much trouble communicating effectively with your spouse, but all of a sudden, the most basic conversation turns into a huge fight, there’s got to be a reason behind the tension.
Your spouse said something out of character. It’s always strange when someone you love and you’ve known for years does or says something that just feels off. We have the tendency to brush it under the rug, but we shouldn’t.
When your spouse does something that truly feels out of character, it can definitely mean that there’s a problem present that you just aren’t aware of.
These could be signs of a number of marriage problems, from infidelity to financial issues. Don’t jump the gun because one sign doesn’t mean your marriage is falling apart. But don’t ignore signs or gut feelings either. You always want to listen to that little voice telling you something doesn’t feel right. That voice is rarely ever wrong.
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