In elementary school, my best friend and I would pluck petals off of daisies chanting, “he loves me,” or “he loves me not” with each new petal we pulled off. Our hope was that the last petal we pulled would end with “he loves me!” and we’d giggle in infatuation with our current crushes.
Now it seems some children grow into adulthood with that same petal-picking mindset about relationships. One minute it’s love, and the next, he’s not feeling the spark anymore and is off to something new.
Real love should never be unstable. Love is confident and steady. These 14 signs are key indicators that you’ve found a treasure – a man who will be devoted to you for life.
#1. He doesn’t expect you to change. He will treasure you forever, because he treasures you now. A man who’s in it for keeps isn’t waiting for you to change before he loves you.
#2. … But he’s not scared of change either. No one can escape time. Heartbreak, age and life transform people. A devoted man knows the woman he fell in love won’t exist in 20 years, but he’s excited to adapt to and love the woman who’s grown and developed throughout the years.
#3. He kisses away your tears. Through deep, aching loss or on those days when you just feel ugly, he holds you when you can’t escape the tears.
#4. In your vulnerable moments, he’s what you need him to be. You’re going to make mistakes: big, ugly ones. You’re likely going to be so embarrassed at times that the only thing you will want to do is crawl into a hole and never be seen again. When a man treasures you, he gives you your space, but he also offers that first encouraging hand to help you face the world again.
#5. He accepts your apologies. Because he knows what you said when you were hangry isn’t really how you feel.
#6. And he knows how to say sorry as well. Happy marriages aren’t free of hurt feelings or careless comments, and when he messes up, he says sorry.
#7. He sees a better version of you. You are your hardest critic. Find that man who sees more in you than you see in yourself. As he treasures you, you’ll develop into the person he believes you are.
#8. He’s willing to give foot massages (not just receive them) I once had a boyfriend who started our relationship by stating what heneeded if we were going to date. His attitude set a bad precedent for the whole relationship, which eventually fell apart.
Relationships are a two way street. A man committed to you finds just as much joy in making you happy as making himself happy. Find a man willing to scratch your back – not just someone who expects you to scratch his.
#9. YOU are excited to do the little things for him. If you don’t find happiness in making him happy, this relationship isn’t for you. Treasure your man, and realize relationships take 100 percent of effort on both your part and his – it’s not 50/50.
#10. When you really think about him, you feel peace. In the quiet hours of the morning, how do you feel when you think about him? Not everyone feels butterflies. Excitement can be a fleeting feeling. But when you think about a life with him, does your gut say yes?
Don’t disregard those feelings.
#11. He’s patient with his family. It’s hard to hide your true self around those who know (and annoy) you the most. If he treasures his family – especially his mom – he’ll likely treasure you through your lives together.
#12. Your soul is beautiful to him. He notices how you treat others. He appreciates how hard you work. He admires your talents. Does he love you for more than just your looks?
#13. He chooses you over a virtual fantasy. True love is faithful. If your man realizes there is no room for pornography in a committed relationship, he’s already showing devotion to you everyday. His choice to not view pornography is a big deal, and will help your relationship flourish. Tell him how much you appreciate his choice.
#14. Work can wait when you need him most. Money isn’t everything and your man knows that. At those moments when you really need him, he puts his work on hold because you are his greatest treasure.
If you have a man with “petal-picking syndrome” who can’t decide if he’s going to stick around, you deserve better. Love shouldn’t require convincing. Look for a man with these qualities and you’ll have a man who treats you like his greatest treasure.
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