The divorce and tolerance rate between couples in modern society is alarming. Ridiculous reasons such as ‘bad cooking,’ ‘lack of beauty’ etc. have triggered divorce. What happened to the love you once share? What happened to your vows? What happened to investing in each other’s growth?
Tolerance is the key to a happy marriage. It is almost impossible to give and receive 100% but you can at least try.
Below are 10 things that keep most happy marriages happy.
#1. Respect. Respect goes beyond the ‘traditional’ belief of respect in Nigeria, where the bride needs to kneel before her husband to feed him and use respectful pronouns [in Yoruba language] before speaking.
Little things like honesty, showing gratitude, greetings and compliments are the basics of respect. Take your marriage serious by striking out invading third parties.
#2. Support and trust. Without trust, you shouldn’t even be married in the first place. Put your union above your personal wants, support and invest in each other’s growth, career, health, finances etc.
Make your routine and every detail clear to your spouse. Replace the word ‘me’ to ‘our’.
#3. Honesty. Stay true to your words. If you tell her you are going to the dentist, go to the dentist; if you are hanging out with friends then tell her exactly that.
Lies are the beginning of distrust in a relationship, it is best to speak the truth, no matter how difficult it is.
#4. Compromise. Always meet in the middle. We can’t always get what we want, remember, the couple are from two different backgrounds, therefore, opinions, beliefs and wants would differ.
All opinions should be brought to the table and the best decision for the family should be made.
#5. Forgive and forget. How do you handle hurt? Do you forgive and forget or forgive and remember later?
80% of the time, your partner would annoy you, the best way to stay happy and keep a healthy relationship with your partner is to let go of hurt. Never go to bed angry and even if you do, talk about it as soon as you can.
Remember, you have not forgotten, if you refer to a past issue anytime he/she hurts you. It is 100% or nothing.
#6. Gratitude. Say thank you when necessary, compliment and give him/her credits when due. Compliments can boost confidence.
#7. Don’t try to change anything about your partner. The ‘change’ aspect of every relationship should have been attempted before marriage. Never attempt to change the person you have married, before you say ‘I do’ be sure every behaviour and habit is something you can tolerate.
#8. Remember special dates. Birthdays, wedding anniversaries, special dinners are always important. Except you are trying to throw a major surprise at them, keep this dates tattooed in your head.
#9. Create time to communicate. Communication and bonding time is always important. Most times career couples working in traffic zones of the state, leave home early and get home late, leaving them with no time to talk about their day and what they could have done better.
Fix a time conducive for both of you, talk, plan and laugh.
#10. Explore. Take a break, go on a vacation, and see the world together.
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